When to Coach, When to Lead: The Power of Adaptive Guidance

Ever wonder when to give direction and when to let people figure things out? Coaching works in some moments. Leading works in others. The secret is knowing which to use and when.

# Relying on One Style Won't Work

Many people try to lead the same way in every situation.

They pick a style that feels natural — coaching, mentoring, managing — and stick with it.

But people change. Contexts shift. What worked yesterday may not work today.

Effective guidance means adjusting to what others need, not repeating what feels comfortable.

# Why Coaching Alone Isn't Enough

Professional coaching changed how we help others grow. It taught us to believe that people are naturally creative, resourceful, and capable. That belief still matters.

But coaching only works when people have enough capacity and skill to find their own answers. Many do not, at least not yet.

When someone is stuck or overwhelmed, another reflective question is not what they need. They need guidance.

I learned this the hard way.

I am a certified professional coach and enterprise coach. For years, I practiced the art of powerful questions. I became skilled at it. Other coaches watched my sessions and praised my questions.

And they were good questions. But some clients were frustrated.

They did not want more reflection. They wanted direction. They wanted to see the next step or understand the options.

That is when I realized something important. Coaching is not always the answer.

Sometimes people need clarity first. Sometimes they need a partner in thinking. Sometimes they need you to lead.

That realization became the seed of the Adaptive Guide Model.

# What It Means to Be a Guide

A Guide is anyone helping others make progress.

Not just leaders or coaches.

Teachers guiding students through discovery.

Managers supporting their teams.

Consultants helping clients find direction.

Parents and mentors helping someone move forward.

To guide is to help others find their way. Sometimes that means telling them which path to take, sometimes helping them see the routes, and sometimes letting them find their own way forward.

The Adaptive Guide Model was built for those moments. It helps you know when to direct, when to advise, and when to let others take ownership.

# The Anatomy of the Adaptive Guide Model

Guiding others is not one skill. It is a system for adjusting how you help based on readiness.

It has three parts that work together.

The Dialogue Double Diamond – how guidance unfolds in conversation and action.

Postures of a Guide – how you show up.

Readiness Signals – how you decide what posture is needed.

Let's start with the first.

## 1. The Dialogue Double Diamond

The Dialogue Double Diamond is the first part of the Adaptive Guide Model.

It shows how guides communicate and collaborate to help others make progress.

Every guiding conversation moves through four stages: Connect, Clarify, Create, and Commit.

These stages sit inside two connected diamonds, one for awareness and one for action. Together they move through a rhythm of sensing and shaping.

The Dialogue Double Diamond shows how guides move from awareness to action through connection, clarity, creation, and commitment.

The left diamond builds awareness by connecting with people and clarifying what is real.

The right diamond builds action by creating possibilities and committing to learning and doing.

Together they form the rhythm of meaningful dialogue. Guides sense what is needed, shape insight, and move toward commitment.

Why it matters:

Progress has a pattern. The Dialogue Double Diamond gives structure to how connection turns into clarity and clarity turns into action.

A deeper look at how the two diamonds work, and how Sense and Shape create this rhythm, will come in the next article.

## 2. Postures of a Guide

The Postures of a Guide describe how you show up inside the Dialogue Double Diamond.

They are not fixed leadership styles. They are flexible ways of helping. You lead when people are uncertain, advise when they are learning, and coach when they are ready.

Direct – Provide structure and stability when people are overloaded or unclear.

Consult – Offer expertise and options when people are curious but still need support.

Coach – Evoke reflection and ownership when people are capable and motivated.

Each posture fits a phase of the Dialogue Double Diamond.

Direct anchors Connect and Clarify.

Consult strengthens Clarify and Create.

Coach thrives in Create and Commit.

Why it matters:

One leadership style will never fit every situation. These postures help you give the right kind of guidance: direction when it is needed, advice when it helps, and space when people are ready to lead themselves.

## 3. Readiness Signals

Which posture you use depends on readiness, the state of the people or system you are guiding.

Guides look for three key Readiness Signals before deciding how to show up.

Capacity – The mental and emotional space to think and learn.

Capability – The skill and experience to perform the work.

Commitment – The willingness and motivation to engage.

When any of these are low, people need more structure and support.

As readiness grows, guidance becomes lighter and more collaborative.

Why it matters:

Readiness Signals help you see what people actually need. When you can read the signals clearly, you guide with precision instead of habit.

# Why Fluidity Matters

Adaptive guidance is about movement.

You step forward when people need clarity. You step back when they are ready to take ownership.

The goal is not to pick a favorite style.

The goal is to stay fluid, adjusting as people grow and change, so they build readiness and eventually guide themselves.

"Adaptive guidance is the art of meeting people where they are, stabilizing when they are overwhelmed, teaching when they are learning, and partnering when they are ready to own the journey."

# What's Next

In the next article we will explore The Dialogue Double Diamond in more depth. We will look at how Sense and Shape form the rhythm of guidance and how the Awareness and Action Diamonds create progress that lasts.

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